So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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