Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
