Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
