I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it hurts more in the daytime
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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