I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize