it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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