Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
