wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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