well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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