Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
