dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
