So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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