Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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