Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??