The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack