Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.