Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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