Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
