proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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