i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize