new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
