Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
