Do you still have your period?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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