im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
