I got chris browned last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
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He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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