Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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