Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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