He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
