i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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