What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
