big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
