if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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