Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
