i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize