Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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