We should be called the Road Head Warriors
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
