i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
