is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
