I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
