she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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