ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
