Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize