I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
