Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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