She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There r osticjed everywhere
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
