tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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