Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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