Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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