So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
