is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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