and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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