then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
They took my balls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
