I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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