Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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