So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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