Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
