The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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