I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I love you. Go after that dick
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
