do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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