She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
