i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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