Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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