I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
