Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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