so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
