If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
