The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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